38 Questions I Have For Birds

November 07, 2017 by Author

You ever fly to area?

However that doesn't imply I don't have a number of questions.

1. The place do you go when it rains?
2. Are you able to inform your self aside from different birds or are you want, “hey, that man appears to be like similar to me” 100 instances a day?
three. Once you lay an egg have you learnt there's a child in there or are you want why the fuck do I care about this rock a lot?
four. Do all birds lay clean eggs like chickens or is that strictly a hen factor? Do chickens have a monopoly on clean eggs?
5. Are you aware different birds are birds even when they give the impression of being completely different from you? Like if you’re a sparrow and also you run right into a ostrich do you give him a refined chook head nod or are you want get that feathery giraffe away from me?
6. What's with migrating? How have you learnt it's time to go should you don't personal a calendar? Do you personal a calendar? Does it function photos of horny robins dressed as firefighters?
7. How excessive are you able to fly? Gun to your head may you fly to area? Are there birds in area and so they're simply not telling us?
eight. Why do you make a lot noise? Are you speaking with different birds or screaming since you're afraid of heights?
9. I additionally actually love bread. Perhaps I…am…chook?
10. Are you cool with bats? Or are they just like the goth youngsters at highschool that exist however don't actually work together with?
11. Do you ever crash into bees once you're up there flying round?
12. Once you stroll are you simply mocking us?
13. Why do you all the time get caught contained in the Dwelling Depot? Are you trying to construct an addition in your nest?
14. What if I shit in your automotive for as soon as? How would you want that?
15. The primary time you flew had been you want “OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK” after which once you acquired the cling of it had been you want “WOOOOOOOOOW!!!!”?

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16. Are parrots simply absolutely the worst?
17. Is it arduous not having palms? How do you excessive 5 different birds after they do a cool flying transfer?
18. Do you ever hitch a experience on the again of a deer once you're too drained to fly?
19. At evening do you sleep or do you simply sit very nonetheless along with your eyes open ready for morning? I can’t image you sleeping.
20. Do you perceive how a lot it might make an individual's day should you landed on their shoulder and stayed there lengthy sufficient for them to take an Instagram image? Like, do you understand how a lot energy you maintain?
21. What's your relationship with squirrels? You guys get alongside? I really feel such as you're coworkers.
22. Have you ever ever blown away within the wind? You have got hole bones, proper? You’re like a leaf with a face and I’m anxious about you.
23. Why are you so jumpy? You understand we solely eat the fats birds who can't fly, proper?
24. Is constructing a nest arduous or do you simply kinda throw a bunch of shit collectively after which stuff the gaps with hair you bought from the barber store dumpster?
25. Once you see a chook in a cage do you suppose they're in jail?
26. Once you're flying in a flock who’s in cost? Is there an elected official or is it anarchy? Is that why you're all the time altering instructions with out warning?
27. Additionally, who selected the V-formation? Why not a elaborate script Q or the frying pan emoji? (It has an egg in it; it's very on model).
28. Are birds who can't fly like penguins and kiwis the equal of people who select to dwell in New York Metropolis? Are they like, “Certain it's not straightforward having to stroll in all places, however that is who I’m, child!” And also you're like *jerk-off movement solely with a wing as a substitute of a hand*?
29. Are home windows the scariest factor in chook tradition? Do you inform window-stories to child birds across the campfire about invisible partitions that may kill within the blink of an eye fixed?
30. I do know you're all the time bare however once you take a chook tub are you, like, truly bare?

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31. Are you aware what's in down pillows? Perhaps don't google it.
32. If I tied a string to your little toes and the opposite finish to my armpit, what number of of you wouldn’t it take to elevate me off the bottom?
33. Are airplanes like Godzilla to you?
34. Are the birds who dwell in prefabricated birdhouses your Kardashians?
35. Do you ever say to your chook mates “I'm gonna be dangerous and hit up the buffet for lunch” however the buffet is simply the chook feeder outdoors my mother's home?
36. Is it simply me or are geese complete show-offs as a result of they're masters of land, air, and sea and so they normally snag all the nice bread?
37. Are bird-twins a factor? Can two birds be rising inside one egg? And after they hatch is the mama chook like “We didn’t put sufficient cash away for 2 bird-tuitions!”
38. If I cease consuming hen will you cease screaming outdoors my window at 5 o'clock within the morning?